The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!
Because it was my brother's birthday, our mom wanted to do something special. She called his fraternity house and said she wanted to bring a cake. The young man who took the call was very excited. "Hey, Mrs. Schaeffer," he said, "that would be great!"
The next day she drove to the fraternity and rang the doorbell. The same boy answered the door. When he saw the cake, his face fell. "Oh," he said, clearly disappointed. "I thought you said 'keg.' "