A blonde on a diet

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

Average: 8 (2 votes)
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Another 5 random jokes

Dressy alligator

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

Answer
Average: 5.5 (2 votes)
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When cats go James Bond

The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. In the ’60s, the CIA hatched a plan to implant a battery and a microphone in a cat so the furry feline could spy on unsuspecting targets. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. 

Average: 4 (1 vote)
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Birthday clam

What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

Average: 5.5 (2 votes)
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A young boy comes home

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

Average: 8 (2 votes)
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Self-esteem

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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