Best jokes

The best jokes on Jokes for Us sorted by the number of votes a joke received (via the star rating of course). Help the site and rate the jokes that you think are good or bad. Thanks for that!
Number of jokes on the site: 739.

Ending the questions

As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by friends, relatives and co-workers. Over the years I've noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries. In my teens, friends would ask, "Who are you going out with this weekend?" In my 20s, relatives would say, "Who are you dating?" In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, "So, are you dating anyone?" Now people ask, "Where did you get that adorable purse?"

Average: 5 (1 vote)
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At the bar

Do you serve ladies at this bar?
No, sir, you have to supply your own.

Average: 7 (2 votes)
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A millionaire, a hard hat, and a cheapskate

A millionaire, a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar... When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It’s now the cheapskate’s turn: He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Elephant job

Why didn’t the elephant get the job he wanted?

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Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Dog

What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Turtle recall

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ...... "Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said. "Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" "Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.

Average: 3 (1 vote)
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