Best jokes

The best jokes on Jokes for Us sorted by the number of votes a joke received (via the star rating of course). Help the site and rate the jokes that you think are good or bad. Thanks for that!
Number of jokes on the site: 739.

God

God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you, Hell, everyone makes mistakes.

Average: 7 (2 votes)
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There's nobody home

One woman I was dating called and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Gaps in your teeth

You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks like your tongue is in jail.

Average: 6.5 (2 votes)
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Which tense is that?

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Wedding anniversary

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Be Insulting Abroad

How to be Insulting Abroad: Ask for local delicacies and leave them on your plate.

Average: 7 (2 votes)
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On the street

How to be Insulting in the Street: Walk along as if you have stepped in something unpleasant, by pretending to scrape your feet along the pavement, or rubbing your soles on any available patches of grass. Then look daggers at anyone walking a dog.

Average: 8 (2 votes)
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